You know the saying…
You know the saying…
You are what you eat.
You are who you hang out with.
… What about you are how you live in your home?
Isn’t it so frustrating when you hear someone say they want one thing, and then they do the complete opposite? Like your girl friend who says she just wants to settle down with a nice guy, but then dates the guy who still acts like he’s a freshman in college at his first frat party and makes you cringe every time he talks?
Or when you hear someone say they want one thing, but then they do absolutely nothing about it? Like your relative who always says she wants to “be more eco-friendly,” but then doesn’t make the effort to avoid one use plastic or toxic items, wastes so much food every time you get lunch together, and really doesn’t do anything that shows she cares about the environment other than liking other peoples’ posts on social media that say change is needed with a picture of a poor animal struggling to survive in it’s natural environment.
I know I do this sometimes and it annoys me. I say I want to get really toned and fit, but then I don’t consistently lift weights, if ever, even though we literally have a gym in our garage and my husband asks me if I want to workout with him everyday (and he’s the most encouraging person ever when I actually agree so it’s not like it’s a bad experience).
James Clear, author of the bestselling book Atomic Habits, had a post last week that I thought was beautifully said:
That is the definition of #realtalk.
Is there a disconnect between what you say you want in life, and how your life actually operates?
Is there a difference between what you say you value in life, and what takes up your time and space?
Here’s some examples of how this might show up in your home:
You say you want to build up your savings, buy a house, have money for extravagant vacations… but your home is full of items you impulse buy or just don’t need or use.
You say you want to support small businesses…but the majority of things in your home (food, furniture, decorations, etc.) are commercially mass-produced.
You say you want to embody self-care more…but your closet is full of clothes you don’t feel confident in and your yoga mat is buried somewhere in the back of a closet.
You say you want to teach your kids that life isn’t about materialistic things, the value of a dollar, how to be responsible and take care of themselves… but you buy them everything they want, more often than not you express your love (or guilt) through tangible items, and you do everything for them even though they’re more than capable of starting the laundry or loading the dishwasher.
Do we do these things because we prefer comfortable routines over anything else? Because we’re control freaks? Because we strongly gravitate toward things we’re used to even if we know they’re not good for us? Because we don’t know how to make a change or don’t think we’re worthy of more? Because we try something new a couple times and then give up when we don’t have instant gratification?
When you and I work together, one thing I’m always keeping in the back of my mind to help you make a lasting lifestyle shift toward something you say you want, is helping you determine whether or not what you say you want matches how you’re currently living, and if not, how we can start to lessen the gap.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t have a clutter problem, but yeah something does feel off,” reach out to me. When we start by looking at your life through the lens of your home, regardless of whether or not you have a visible clutter issue, we’re looking at a little snapshot or summary of how things are going. We’re going to find little clues in your environment of why you might feel restless, disconnected, frustrated, burnt out, or stuck but can’t put your finger on why. Maybe you don’t think you have a lot of clutter in your life and home, but by taking a moment to reflect on your space, you might find you have a lot of things you don’t actually want or need or are flat-out holding you back — and I’m not just talking about physical objects.
We always look to the outside world for answers, but maybe you already have them right in front of you, and within you, and they’re just waiting to be noticed.
I’ve found that once you start taking genuine, intentional care of yourself and your surroundings, it makes it really hard to let junk come back in.
