I’ve been really struggling with this…
I want to share with you something I've really struggled with lately.
My thoughts these past couple of weeks have been consumed by negativity. I've had a million thoughts that have caused me anxiety, worry, and anger.
Why? One reason is from frustration with our home search. My husband and I have been searching for over a year for a home to call our own, one that'll shorten his commute and has a fenced in backyard for our crazy dog, Owen, to run free in. We finally had an accepted offer, went under contract, and then received a home inspection that showed serious issues that we didn't expect. We decided to terminate that contract and lost a lot of money in the process. Then we found another home that was perfect for us and checked off everything we wanted, put in a really great offer, and still came in a close second place. I know so many other families are going through this, and if you're one of them I feel your frustration and I'm sending you all the good vibes that you'll find your home soon too.
So between recently losing my family dog to cancer, getting in a car accident, and a few other stressful personal things going on that I can’t share because it involves other people, I felt completely miserable.
Thank God for my husband, though. After we terminated our contract, and later found out we didn't get another house, I came home to a note. On it was a list of things my husband is grateful for. Fortunately, despite my “I want to set the world on fire” mood, I still made the list.
It reminded me (and made me have a good cry) that I'm letting the wrong things take up space in my life. Clutter is often viewed as this accumulation of physical things. We forget that mental clutter, an accumulation of thoughts you don't need or love or serve no purpose other than to bring you down, is a real thing.
There's a quote by Gabby Bernstein: “Worry is a prayer for chaos.”
Well, she's right. I've been so focused on things I have minimal control over and all the things I've perceived as “going wrong.” I've let them pile up and take too much space, and if I continue to let them come in and stay there, well I'm just going to be miserable forever.
I've struggled with actively practicing gratitude.
Gratitude for a husband who brings me back down to earth with his sweet notes because he knows words are my love language.
Gratitude for the fact that he's home, because last Christmas he was deployed. And that we even have a home!
Gratitude for all of you, for being on this journey with me and reading my words. It means more to me than you know.
When I choose those thoughts, my life is looking pretty darn awesome.
So this is my gentle reminder that clutter comes in all forms. Mentally, emotionally, physically. We all have to check in with these spaces and do some cleaning up in order to build a life we love.
Have you been crowding your mind lately with junk?
What are 3 things you're grateful for today?
